The Jersey Shore. This is happening. Deal with it.

It’s the end of civilization. Or the apex of ours. Or something. Whatevs.

Kick back today and watch Jersey Shore Uncensored: Season One (TONY gave the DVD four stars. Gamera: The Giant Monster only got three, but ask yourself this: who would win in a fight?) in preparation for tonight’s Jersey Shore Season 2 Beach Party at SideBar.

To reiterate: Yes, this is happening and you’re going to have to deal with it, because you’re going to have to talk about it at work tomorrow.